If you can reduce your expenses by 50% by changing to a newer network, but it doesn’t actually perform all the tasks your employees need, you didn’t actually save money.

More simply: “Newer isn’t always better”.

-The worst thing you can say to your team after receiving management direction is “I know it sucks, but…”.
Congratulations, you’ve just screwed up your company unity, because your team will now have an attitude of rebellion you’ve indirectly endorsed. What you should say is, “If you disagree with this, pass me your concerns and I will take them up the chain”.

-Manage expectations about a project up front.
Projects can get fucked because people didn’t know how to handle an issue or what they were supposed to be doing. Go through an exercise to establish your purpose, vision, and brainstorm some ideas to get there. Organize them, and your team, and come up with some action items. This essentially manages expectations and puts everyone on the same page.

-Flex your approach.
Got a worker who values organization? Be overly organized for your meeting with them. Got someone who is easily emotionally affected by their work? Give them praise when they do well. Got a boss who is all about the bottom line? Limit your meetings to no more than 15 minutes. Flex your approach to the people you are dealing with, and you will have a much easier time than trying to ram the way you do things down people’s throats.

Never assume that anyone is the same kind of smart that you are, and NEVER assume that they are the same kind of stupid.

No matter how efficient, how brilliant or how driven to produce your guy is…NEVER make him the only person in the development loop.

She might be producing 60% of your code, but one set of assumptions not common to the user base and BOOM!

and fire.

and boobies.

and our lovely hostess, Sanya.

Goe, going to see fireworks tonight.

How about the most basic one?

Take care of the customer. They’re the ones paying your checks (in the end) and they’re the ones you have to make happy.

If they have a problem, resolve it as quickly, and as accurately as you can.

Be polite, be concise, and don’t patronize your customers. Treat them how you want to be treated, and don’t ever, ever lie to them. They will find out.

If you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and explain as best you can. Cover ups will be detected, and will blow up in your face.

Finally, don’t be scared of telling a customer “no.” Sometimes, you just can’t accommodate them, and if you don’t pussy-foot around, and just tell them up front, they’ll understand and respect you.

(Yes, I work in support…and I’ve yet to have a customer get mad at me…mad at the product I’m supporting or the company I work for, but not at me.)

don’t take milton’s stapler or he might set the building on fire.

Goe, reminding you that it’s the red one.

we can’t have that. (i see you’ve been on the same cruise i have)