…when I realized I didn’t have an idea for the weekly rant I get paid to write. So I gave it to Dana “The Slave Driver” Massey for the website, because, um, the nine of you are awesome, but not paying for the dog kibble I have to buy. And he is. Anyway, I swear I’m trying not to do this too often, but here was the post I was going to make for you: http://www.massivegamer.com/features.php?feature=38
There was a tortured analogy involving sex toys and sandpaper in the first draft, but I gotta be more family friendly for the paying job.
…but I swear to you, I just spent a half an hour laughing my ass off. Were it not for shoddy bug testing (some tasts literally cannot be done) it would have been even better than that classic of the late 1990′s, “Frog In a Blender.”
No… balls…
Ah, memories. But anyway, this one is going right up there with Elf Bowling. I know, I’m sick.
Warning: If you are already a vegetarian, this is just going to upset you. If you were considering becoming a vegetarian, this is going to make you ill. If you are an unrepentant carnivore, click away.
If you get offended, um, I did warn you.
Be sure to complete the tofu level and be rewarded with Mama’s best demonic smile.
Wow. It is really hard to update a blog, a Twitter, a Facebook, and do my THREE FREAKING JOBS all at once.
Instead of a substantive update, I’ll just send you over to the website for Massive Gamer. I write a little for the print rag. Mostly I edit. The website is a different story – Dana and I have an ambitious update schedule. At the present time, I do a column once a week, a “feature” twice a week (today’s was “On the Scene: WotLK Launch” with me playing the role of Wolf Blitzer), and news five days a week. I’m afraid that I’ve been reading too much Wonkette lately, and it’s colored my news “reporting.” Anyway, I hope my snark entertains you in some small way.
[19:02] friend: http://change.gov/page/s/ofthepeople
[19:02] friend: (6:08:01 PM) friendoffriend: 6:07 PM
i see obama agrees with Sanya and has a feedback form, not forums.
BOOYAH.
I followed the instructions on my jurisdiction’s postcard, all but begging those of us who work at home/don’t work/have retired to pleeeeease vote off peak between 10 and 3. My better half (whose company gives a half day, paid, for voting) and I walked the mile from our house to the elementary school cafeteria where we vote, figuring the parking lot would be overwhelmed and for heaven’s sake it’s just a mile, we used to do five mile hikes for fun when we were dating and before we turned into elderly sloths.
We passed a guy just standing there with his McCain sign, eyes shifting around nervously, because he knew damn well he was supposed to be twenty feet further away where all the other signs were. We ran a gauntlet of signs instructing us to turn off our cameras, cell phones, recording devices, neural implants, and satellite connections to the mothership. Look, it was a very long list and my attention span for such things is very short.
The newspaper this morning was filled with “OMG Four HOUR LINEZ, RUN!!11!!” So imagine our surprise when we turned the corner and found… no line. We were the entire line at 10:30 AM, in a Baltimore suburb.
Admittedly, when we left, there was a line. Five people is a line! Sort of!
Anyway, if you’re thinking, hell, my vote doesn’t count so much that I want to wait four hours, go now! I’m thinking a lot of people are writing this one off, thinking their state is a shoo in for this guy or that guy. Yeah, and Dewey won the race, too. Go vote!
My friend Joe made this game: http://amerikkkagame.blogspot.com/
I believe it is safe to say that voters of all flavors are motivated this season because of various what-if scenarios dancing in their heads. Here is a game to play out the what ifs!